How to make change – 3 mindset that makes changing easy

Posted on by in mind training techniques, Psychology

In this post you’re going to learn the three key mindsets that can affect your ability to change and then how you can overcome them so you can get the results you want in your life.

Why is it important to learn about these three mindsets?

Screen Shot 2013 09 09 at 8.00.40 PM 300x175 How to make change   3 mindset that makes changing easyWell, you know what it’s like.  You set a goal and you set on a path to achieve that goal, but then something comes up, it’s like you’re sabotaging yourself and you start putting blocks up and you don’t know why you can’t get to your goal that you’ve set for yourself.

This can lead to frustration because all satisfaction in life comes from achieving the things you set out to do. Unless you know about these mindsets and then about how to overcome them then you’ll never be able to make the changes you want.

What are these key mindset changes that can affect your ability to change?

In the book The Charge by Brendon Burchard he outlines three expectations that you have to overcome to make change.

The first is – the expectation of loss. That is, when you make a change, you’re going to have to stop doing something and if you find it pleasurable, then you’re going to have to say no to it, so you’re going to feel the loss of that.

The second one is the expectation of process pain – that is, when you’re going through making the change, all the things you’ve got to go through to get to the end result and you may perceive that as being painful.

The third one is your expectation of outcome pain – that is that your new situation is going to be worse than your previous situation.

Your ability to change really comes down to the way that you can handle these three expectations.  In life we have two different types of changes we have to make.

The first one comes unexpectantly – that is life puts something in lap, it throws you a curveball and you’ve just got to deal with the new situation.  For example, your place of work might shut down and you have to go and start finding a new place to work.

The second type of change that comes into our life is the one we consciously choose.  That happens when we are dissatisfied with life and we know that there’s more and we consciously think, “okay, I want to make a goal that I want to achieve.  That’s the second way and that’s the one that’s recommended so that life doesn’t have to keep throwing you these curveballs to make you evolve.

How do we master these mindsets to be able to work in our favor instead of against us?

First, let’s take a look at how we can overcome the expectation of fear of loss.  In any given moment we can either focus on one of two things – the thing that we’re going to have to give up when we make the change.

The antidote to this is to focus on what we’re going to get at the end of the process of the change.  We can start thinking of all the extra benefits.

Let’s go back to our example of finding a new place to work.

Instead of focusing on all the things that we’ve leaving behind such as our workmates, knowing how we fit into our role, and the procedures of the workplace and actually start focusing on the new things that might be coming like the new challenges and the new people that we’ll be meeting and the higher salary, then we’re going to overcome the fear of loss.

Therefore, we’re going be in empowered state and we’re going to be able to make that change.

Overcoming the pain involved in the process of change.  Instead of focusing on all of the things we’re going to have to learn and the new way to drive to work and how to fit in to the new job place and meeting everybody and going through that process, we can think of the positives of going through that process of change. Things  like being able to have a fresh start and meeting new people and being able to express yourself more creatively.  If we focus on these instead of all the things we’re going to go through, obviously, again, we’re going to be in an empowered state.

The last expectation, overcoming outcome pain. What happens when we start thinking of change is we make these what-if questions, in NLP they’re called possibility questions and they start with what-if.

When we are going through change unconsciously, we can put a negative slant on them like:

  • What if I don’t like the new people I work with?
  • What if I’m not going to get paid as much?

The way to overcome this is obviously make these what-if questions positively orientated.  Some examples in our situation would be:

  • what if I met some really cool new workmates?
  • what if I got a pay rise from what I want currently?

If we asked these questions, we’re creating better internal representations in our mind.

Now, what if you’ve actually gone through this process and you’re still struggling to make the change?

Well, that can come down to not having a strong enough desire for your goal – that is you’re not stretching yourself or you’re not making  your goal vivid enough in your mind to compel you to take the actions you need to take.

If you fall into this category, then I recommend checking out Mind Movies.  That’s a software that allows you to upload pictures and sounds and create these movies that will keep these goals of yours forefront in your mind.

You can download them and carry them around on your phones and watch them and keep you motivated to be able to make tomorrow better than today.

Click on this link  if you want to check out Mind Movies.

Action steps moving forward,

1) Become aware of how you frame your changes in your life and become aware of three expectations.

2) And anytime become aware of them.  Just think  “Ah, there it goes”

3) Go through the strategies I said earlier to be able to change your mind to make them more positive.  Start bringing them into your everyday life in the simple activities that you need to make a change in.  That’s like getting out of bed in the morning.  Instead of focusing on the warmth and being relaxed, focus on what you’re going to get out of the day and what’s out there, what you’re going to look forward to, and you’re going to be charging out of there.

4) In the major changes in your life, make sure you become really conscious of how you’re using these expectations against yourself and then start flipping them over so they start working in your favor.

5) Employ Mind Movies, the software I talked about earlier, so that you could make these goals clear and vivid and compelling in your life.

 

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